Deborah's Story

We all have a unique story to tell, especially those of us who’ve discovered this path called “women’s spirituality”. There’s the “official” story which outlines our degrees and credentials in the vernacular of the “dominant culture”. But then, there’s the deeper, more magical story which gives voice to our yearning to concretize and make meaning from our spiritual journeys.

“Deborah has a BA in Psychology and Education from Mount Holyoke College and an MA in Psychology, specializing in Transpersonal Psychology and Women's Spirituality, from Lesley University. Deborah also graduated from Coach University and is a Certified Relationship Coach, trained by the Relationship Coaching Institute to deliver programs for singles and couples. In addition, she completed the 2-year Counseling Training Program from The Astrology Institute in Lexington, MA and is a nationally certified Counseling Astrologer. Deborah is a licensed Inter-faith Minister and loves creating unique wedding ceremonies, as well as designing creative, meaningful rituals for individuals and families wishing to mark other important life passages as well. She facilitates monthly New Moon SisterCircles, Full Moon TeleCircles and co-ed WisdomCircles, and leads workshops and classes on transformative ritual and practical magic.”

And now, as Paul Harvey used to say on NPR, here’s “the rest of the story”…

My search for an image of the divine that made sense to me began when I was 16. As an upper middle class white Protestant teenager in the early '70s, a shocking thought occurred to me: if I identified myself as Christian, with all the beliefs attached to that, didn't that somehow nullify the teachings of all other religions? (I remember the word "nullify" having a particularly visceral effect on me). I wrestled with that question for years, sensing that the answer lay within me --- perhaps that contributed to my becoming a psychology major in college! In any case, there was certainly no room at that point in my life to question the spiritual authority of God, with a capital "G", so I backed away from religion as I knew it.

In the years that followed, I mostly stayed away from churches except when I was drawn to the quiet solitude of the physical space (I’ve always resonated deeply with sacred space of all kinds), or during visits to my parents on major holidays when I knew there would be lots of singing -- always a source of solace for me. I married a wonderful [non-religious Jewish] man, well-versed in Eastern philosophy, with many of my same resistances to Western religious dogma. We continued our search together, through meditation, Werner Erhard's EST training, and assorted New Age healers and teachers.

After our sons were born in 1983 and 1986, I felt increasingly compelled to seek out a spiritual community where our eclectic interests and values would be honored. In 1992, through a series of serendipitous events, I found the 4^th Universalist Society www.4thU.org, a Unitarian-Universalist church in New York City . It was there that I was first introduced to the Goddess and something our minister called "earth-based spirituality." This was my first spiritual "a-ha!" in twenty years, experienced as "Oh, that's what was missing!"

I learned that Earth-centered religion is based on three core principles: "immanence, interconnection, community" (from “The Spiral Dance” by Starhawk, 1979). "Immanence" means that we embody the Goddess/Gods within (versus trying to "transcend” our bodies to unite with a Divine Being outside of ourselves) and consider all nature, culture and life as sacred. The notion of “interconnectedness” reminds us that all of these sacred parts of the universe must support and sustain each other as one living organism. And, finally, our sense of “community” compels us to focus not on our own individual salvation or enlightenment, but on the healing and growth of all. The idea that my spirituality was grounded in and around me was galvanizing and liberating.

Within months of that spiritual revelation, I participated in my first Earth-centered ritual, a celebration of the Celtic Goddess Brigit, with lively drumming, dancing and chanting. Who knew worship could be so much fun! Margot Adler came to speak at our church and I devoured Drawing Down the Moon (1979), her extraordinary examination of modern-day Paganism. From a brochure prepared by CUUPS (the Covenant of UU Pagans – another surprise), I learned that "pagan" comes from the Latin word meaning "country dweller" and refers to someone whose "spiritual center is drawn to native and natural religions, usually pantheistic or polytheistic, and almost always earth-centered". Surprise, surprise… I always thought they were devil worshippers.

The next stage in my education was to read Riane Eisler's (1987) scholarly and passionate history of the pre-patriarchal Goddess-worshipping religions,

The Chalice and the Blade. I followed that up by reading Bury my Heart at Wounded Knee, Dee Brown’s devastating history of our government’s systematic attempt to wipe out the Native American civilizations that once flourished on this continent … cried my way through it while whetting my resolve to learn more about this deeply spiritual Earth-honoring culture.

At some point in this unfolding journey, I discovered the Women's Rites Center in New York City (now defunct), founded and directed by Susan Merrie Hellerer, M.Div., where I deepened my knowledge of women's spirituality and ritual through her women's ritual circle, Womenwheel. At the same time, I discovered and began to study the ancient arts of astrology, tarot and palmistry. The work of C.G. Jung, (where was he when I was a psych major at Mt. Holyoke ?!), suddenly took on new significance as I peered into the numinous world of the unconscious and its contents, the archetypes.

I knew somehow that, wrapped up in all this exploration was the basis for my life’s work. Up until 1990, I had worked in the business world, then partnered with my husband Peter in the children’s music business that he had started 3 years before. That gave me the flexibility to really dive into my spiritual exploration in earnest. I devoured books and courses on everything I could find in the areas of feminist psychology and spirituality, Jungian psychology, ritual, astrology, tarot, palmistry… I felt as though I already had a graduate degree in “esoteric psychology” by the time I actually embarked on my Master’s degree program in 1996!

’96 was a big year on many fronts. I began facilitating women’s ritual circles for the first time, and as part of my graduate work, I started the 2-year Counseling Training Program offered by the Astrology Institute in Lexington , MA … one week after my father died. The program ended up being a nurturing place to grieve as I role-played counseling skills, while at the same time the rest of my graduate work provided luscious brain-food and opportunities to write papers with titles like, “Jungian Depth Psychology and the Four Elements”; “Claustrum or Container: The Creation of Safe Space in Therapy and Ritual”; “Examining the Great Mother Archetype”; “Birth of a Ritual: Creation of a Coming-of-Age Ceremony”. It all culminated in a 150-page thesis entitled “Weaving a Path to Wholeness through Women’s Ritual and the Four Elements”, which someday I may even turn into a book!

Somewhere towards the end of the counseling training program as I was starting to write my thesis, one of the directors (thank you, Jill-Laurie Crane) showed me an article about coaching and there was another “aha” – the beginning of an awareness of how I was to bring all of this work together in something that made sense. I completed Coach University ’s comprehensive training program and hung out my “shingle” as a Life Coach. I also became ordained as an Interfaith Minister so that I could legally officiate at the most joyous form of life passage rituals – weddings. You can find out more about coaching and weddings by checking out www.SpiritedLiving.com.

I could write much, much more about the nuances of my journey, but suffice it to say that it truly is never-ending and ever-deepening and expanding. We all have our stories and I would love to hear yours… please write me at Deborah@SpiritedLiving.com so that we can create a growing circle of women’s voices!

Deborah S. Roth, MA

Life and Relationship Coach, Interfaith Minister
Phone (212)665-9660
Email: Deborah@SpiritedLiving.com